Over-Protective Parenting.

Friday April 20th 2007.

I read an interesting article- “Invasion of the Helicopter Parents” in Business week Online. I am giving the link to the article, and request the readers to read it for its contents and the comments thereon. I consider it as a good topic to ponder over in the context of present day social values that are emerging. Good or bad, time alone would decide.

http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/content/apr2007/bs20070416_089164.htm

The writer says that -the new crop of MBAs is often accompanied by moms and dads eager to get involved in their kids’ education. Is this hovering healthy?

This set me thinking.

We were three brothers and three sisters, and are now two brothers and two sisters, including myself. All of us were decently educated, settled in life and bore children who are also well educated, and yes, they are also well settled in life.

In the matter of our education, my parents, who are no more, never hovered over us. All of us have been brought up with parental care and affection, and grew up with independent views. We continue the same practice with our children. There have been no complaints or drawbacks from either side. This has been the case in many Indian families till about four decades back.

The thought of having two children caught up, and slowly the protective attitude of parents too emerged and developed. Many parents were protective of their children till the completion of their schooling. The mother helped their children in their homework’s; and escorting them to and from school many a times. I also heard mothers who waited outside the school from morning to evening, carrying snacks and Lunch and a water bottle for their children. The fathers too lent support in driving the children to their school by their scooter or in their car.

The parents were also involved by the system while admitting their wards in professional institutes, for higher studies. This is all fine, well justified and perfect for parental care. At this stage, the protective attitude of parents in terms of physical assistance should end.

In India, the Helicopter Parents are there and playing their role in a tempered way, but have not gone overboard. This has certainly helped to an extant to groom the children into responsible adults.

The protective attitude does help in offering a sense of security till the stage of adolescence, but later it becomes an embarrassment. This continued protection leads to lack of confidence, self-belief and self-reliant on the part of the youth. Thereafter, it could lead to attitudinal problems.

In the corporate world, where lot of innovation, independent thinking, and courage to take decisions are required, the protected youth becomes a misfit. The career life could be in jeopardy.

It is surprising that this invasion of Helicopter Parents is happening in the western world, where independent thinking and freedom have been the strengths. May be the Indian habits are getting percolated there and the western values are being adopted here. Is it n example of Global Reforms?

Could this change in habit be on account of proliferation of violence in university campuses? Whatever be the reasons, this could set a new trend in the behavioral aspect of parents and their children as well.

Instead of being protective of their children, parents could guide, counsel and offer advice whenever sought, and lead them away when they are going astray from the accepted norms of society. Parents would feel extremely happy and proud if they SEE their children grow like good trees that offer its fruits and shelter. Bringing up children ought to be like planting a sapling, tendering and watering it to grow till it stands erect to grow further on its own to become a tree.

There are ever so many examples in the life cycle that a balanced approach to many a problem has yielded a satisfactory solution. And we all know that it is difficult to balance the tilts, and it is an everlasting exercise to maintain equanimity on the part of mind.

Carnage at Virginia Tech University.

Wednesday April 18 2007.

The senseless shooting on Monday April 16, 2007, at the Virginia Tech University Campus in USA, which left about 32 defenseless people dead, makes horrifying and a very sad reading. The academic campus and a place of worship are two areas where peace is THE ambience. If in such places, a rampage of this nature occurs, there is something wrong with the society and its values. All of us have to bow our head in shame, despite our hearts being with them, and their kin. We may pray for peace to their souls, but unless strong measures are taken by the authorities to prevent such occurrences, and unless the citizens exert pressure to enact laws, the prayers would sound hollow and hypocritical.

It is beyond my thinking, why law abiding citizens need to possess a gun? What for? The theory that it is for self-defense is NO reason whatsoever. Its possession is to cause destruction, and in destroying another creature reveals a violent and a degenerative mind.

Usage of these weapons in War is a different theory altogether. People prefer peace and not wars. If it is inevitable, people still want war to end as quickly as possible.

This senseless behavior is not confined to America, but a global problem. The other day, a group of students barged into a class room in Warangal in the state of Andhra Pradesh, and beat up a professor and his colleagues for awarding fewer marks. A similar incident took place in Italy a few months back. Who is to be blamed for all such incidents?

In one way or other, all of us have contributed to this degenerated thinking. Since we are the cause, we can improve the society as well. Let us think and do good things that does not hurt the feelings of others nor harm them physically.