SIT THE TALK.

June 22, 2007

Hyderabad, India.

There is a programme “Walk the Talk” aired in India by one of the News Channels on TV, where a popular personality is interviewed by the interviewer while walking together. I was wondering why they can’t sit and converse. A wise relative told me that “Walk the Talk” is a pun, reflective of wisdom “Practice what you Preach.”

I wonder whether some of those interviewed live by this wisdom. I can say with reasonable assurance that many of us do not practice all that we preach. Why So? Because what all we preach are difficult to follow even by us. Life’s circumstances do not always provide a perfect setting for practicing this great wisdom. Again, we invariably forget what we preached. At certain times, due to lack of coordination between mind and body, practicing what we preach may not be possible. At least in my case, it’s true for I am confined to a sitting posture most of the time due to ALS, a fatal disease.

But, we want others to follow everything we say, only to satisfy that king of all traits- Egoism. Most of the bosses, shall I say all the bosses (?), in the corporate world, seem to thrive on the maxim “Don’t do as I do, Do what I say”

Many politicians all over the world belong to this breed. And present day leaders, from any segment of society, are neither inspirational nor visionaries, and far away from being statesmen. All their speeches are tailor made to suit the occasions, and none of their promises or assurances is implemented. So, all the actions that are required for implementation are made to SIT, while they talk. A new wisdom is getting practiced- Sit the Talk.

Sit in front of the TV, and hear what all trash is being aired.

Sit in a lecture hall; hear what all the Gurus are preaching, which again are laced with innumerable examples that are only a delight to the ears.

By these talks, inertia is born inside the body inhibiting physical action.

All are listening, and NONE is active!

Many of us are losing a sense of proportion while looking at realities of life. Issues are created, are magnified by the media, unrealistic expectations are raised and hyped, only to fall flat resulting in disillusionment.

At times, I do slip in the mood of inertia, and constantly laugh at myself at being a good example of “Sit The Talk”. I do come out of the moods thinking about The Bhagavad Gita and that inspirational advertisement of Nike-Just Do It.

There is a Chinese Proverb—Personal Example carries more weight than preaching. Nothing can be farther than this truth. If I want to see my surroundings in a happier mood, I need to be happy first. If I live by what I preach, people would emulate me.

Now, how many of the present day leaders, officials, ordinary citizens walk their talk? It is anybody’s guess. We are all living in a world that is simply sitting on many issues. The more their solutions are delayed, the more they get complicated. What do we call ourselves? Sitting Ducks??

Celebrating A Marriage.

Friday 15^th June 2007.

In the lives of Indian Parents, celebrating arranged marriages of their children is a major event.

In the middle class families, much of the income of parents goes towards owning a house and their savings for performing the marriages. Again, it is a custom that the Parents of daughters perform and bear much of the marriage expenses. This is all besides giving their children good education and bringing them up. If only the father is earning, then it is a great burden. If father and mother are working, it still is a strain commensurate with their life pattern.

Indian Hindu Marriages are similar to the core, yet varies in procedure and practices in regions.

I say this with my experience. By god’s grace, we discharged our responsibilities at the appropriate times to our satisfaction.

We have three daughters, and performed their marriages within a period of seven years. Each one was done with meticulous planning. One was done within a week’s time, and the other two, we had ample time to plan and execute. It has been my belief that any work can be done satisfactorily if proceeded on systematically and with planning. My career experience as a Finance Manager and reasonable administrative skills I acquired were helpful.

I thought I should share my experiences, and hence this blog.

Before we embarked on performing my youngest daughter’s marriage, a month ago, we decided to spruce up our house inside and outside with a coat of paint. We called in a leading Paint company, took estimates, bargained, signed up an agreement. They took about three weeks and did a thorough professional job. Our house certainly deserved a good treatment from us as it has been taking care of us all these years. We all grew up in this house, and have very good memories of it. It hosted many a relative, accommodating them with comforts. Home, sweet home- how true it is.

Alongside, we followed the under mentioned schedule of works:

Items Of Work

1. Engaging a Priest to conduct the sacred rituals for the Engagement and Marriage / Musicians to play the instruments / Fix up a marriage hall to perform the marriage. / Hiring a professional photographers for video coverage of the event
2. Fixing up of Caterers
3. Purchase of Ornaments for the bride.
4. Purchase of clothes for the bride, groom, in-laws, relatives, & children
5. Printing of Invitation cards
6. Invitation (By Post, Phones, e-mails.)
7. Arrangement of transport for both the parties. (Before, during, and after marriage).
8. Putting up of a Tent in the house.
9. Purchase of Groceries and miscellaneous items
10. Keeping loose cash with Trusted Aides for emergency disposals (Tips, for unforeseen/unexpected/need based expenses) during the marriage.
11. Preparation/Supervision Of trip to and fro Marriage Hall.
12. Keeping an eye on smooth functioning of events at the Marriage Hall.
13. Obtaining Marriage Certificate.
14. Finalization of all Transactions/ settlement of bills of marriage performance.
15. Clean up the house to get back to normalcy.

Putting them to Work:

As the marriages are celebrated on auspicious dates, hiring and fixing up a marriage hall during those days is of prime importance. Depending upon its location, popularity, and facilities available, its charges are expensive. They are hired for a day.

Hiring Caterers for food arrangements is another important work. Details of the types of food, soft drinks, plenty of cups of coffee and tea to be served to number of invitees require estimating, planning, negotiating and bargaining with the contractor. This is one more item that has a sizeable share of the total expenditure.

Then come purchases. It is no window-shopping. A detailed list is prepared, and items bought accordingly within the budget.

Preparing a list of Addresses of the invitees is a major work, which calls for data collection. Over a few years I gathered these addresses, wrote them neatly in a book- Region wise, state wise, segregating friends, relatives and office colleagues. Those who could be reached through e-mails, were listed and a print out taken.

Assessing the number of invitees, invitation cards were printed. Addresses were written and sent. Some of the close relatives within the city were personally invited, and phone calls were made to others followed by invitation.

The invitation part of the marriage is time consuming than others, and requires a special attention.

Transportation of materials, and personnel to and from the marriage hall is one more item that needs careful supervision.

The Marriage:

As the priest takes the center stage in helping and conducting the marriage with the rituals and chanting of Vedic hymns, the respective parents of bride and groom, the bride and the groom, and close relatives on either side lending support, would do well to follow and obey the instructions of the priests implicitly. Every ritual forming part of the marriage has significance, a purpose that must be performed with focus and attention. The giving away of a daughter by parents to the groom is considered to be the highest charity as per the Hindu scriptures. This act evokes emotions and filled with poignancy.

The detailed description of the marriage rituals is beyond the scope of this blog.

The help and support rendered by close relatives and friends for the smooth functioning of the marriage need to be emphasized. Their contribution is immense. Assigning and delegating works to them is an art. I formed a small team of dedicated relatives and entrusted them the works. The experience I gained was passed on to them. The young and old worked with equal cheer and enthusiasm.

Further, it pleased us immensely when close relatives living abroad came and participated; my schoolmates known to me since four decades attended, and those electronically invited sent their good wishes and blessings to the couple. For those who attended and also those who could not attend, were thrilled to see the photo album I shared with them on the web, which gave them a sense of participation.

As I became partly immobilized, and confined to the wheel chair, I never felt away from it all. It was a moment of great satisfaction to me to be aware that there were fewer shortcomings in the performance.

At heart I felt grateful that reinforced my faith in the power of God that he is there to take care of all of us.

Away From Posting Blogs.

Wednesday 13^th June 2007.

I have not been following any set practice for writing my blogs. It would have been a good habit had I cultivated writing on a topic of interest, like other columnists-say a weekly, fortnightly, or even on a monthly basis. This helps the readers, to look forward to my writings, and perhaps ignore if they find them uninteresting and me.

Well, fortunately the hits to my page, though not all that sizable, have not dwindled even though I have not been posting for about two months now. That satisfies me for the time being.

Having said that, I am of the view that writing regularly invigorates the mind, and brings in great deal of satisfaction. Assimilation of knowledge requires to be disseminated. We all know that efficiency is measured through an Input/output ratio. It could be applied as a barometer to any form of action in our lives. The present global scene is a classic example for that measurement.

Be that as it may, what kept me away for a period of two months from writing and updating blogs was a series of domestic events that happened, which were foreseen. These works occupied my mind and attention, all to end satisfactorily by the grace of god.

Marriage of my youngest daughter took the center stage. It’s a joyous event we all look forward to with different views, approaches, and responsibilities. In India, it is one of the major responsibilities for parents to perform it, reasonably well for all round satisfaction to both the parties, befitting their status, and of course well within the size of the wallet!

Fortunately, this can be done with meticulous planning, as all services pertaining to it are available that eases physical exertion to a great extent. These days it can be performed in about a week’s time, or leisurely depending upon the availability of time, before marriage day.

For the sake of posterity, a word I like, recording them (the events) reflects a thought process, which may be of help, and that is my intention.

We returned from Austin, TX during the middle of March 2007, for performing this event in May, as also another family function - Naming of my grandson, and other related works to execute. There was ample time to do the works, but they had to be taken up for planning and action till they are completed. All my family members, and close relatives did that. It was a great team effort. Me? Monitoring and supervising due to my physical immobility. Life goes on.

I am back at the desk to transfer my thoughts into print-slowly and steadily.

As they say, pick up the threads.