Family Values.

December 1st, 2006.

In pursuit of life, we set goals based on our interests. We take a path which has a meaning that directs and make us work towards achieving our goals to derive satisfaction. These interests make us acquire some values, like Truth, honesty, integrity, fairness, compassion, magnanimity etc. All these values conjure up to shape us-individuals- to a personality of some character. Once acquired, these GOOD values stick to us.
Yet we often find ourselves at crossroads while taking decisions in times of crises. Our interests are tested by these values. If the interests are for the benefit of society at large, the decisions coming out of these values enhance the reputation of the society. Thus, the society further inculcates more values. From this perception, positive values, negative values, moral values, Business Values, Human values, family values and so many other values generate.
Personally I believe, family values should be nurtured, and in the present day world, they need to be strengthened. It is said that one should win at home, and then think of winning elsewhere. This simple logic can be applied to an individual, to a business enterprise, to a state, to a country and to the whole universe.
In the Hindu Vedic scriptures, a human life, is estimated as 100 years and is divided into four portions. In Sanskrit, they are referred as, BRAHMACARYA, GŖHASTHA, VANAPRASTHA, AND SANNYĀSA.
For the first 25 years, a human child grows from infancy to adulthood, seeks education and acquires knowledge. During this period the mind is vibrant, impressionable, and what is learnt is embedded in the memory, and is everlasting. This is one reason why we remember our childhood. This is the brahmacarya period. The period spent in the Schools and colleges is so valuable, and the teaching community which imparts this knowledge is beyond value. The teachers in the school and the parents at home are the beacons to the child. In this period, value systems take a shape, and on this edifice, the moral values of the society are built. A character takes a shape.
I am not saying something new, but only reiterating the concept that is built in all scriptures. I have been benefited by these systems. The information technology through its web sites has helped me trace my schoolmates, my classmates after a period of 50 years. Two of them stay near my house, and we meet regularly. I am in touch with my class teachers. That is the bond built on values.
The next phase of life is called GŖHASTHA,which is devoted to household duties. In this period, the householder acquires a wife, a life partner, and together they perform life's duties of bearing children, bringing them up shaping them to be good citizens. Thus the life cycle continues. This is also a period where the man puts all his education into practice in his chosen career, continuously seeking knowledge, taking crucial decisions at work place and at home as well.
The family values are put to great test in this stage of life of both husband and wife. They and they alone are responsible for creating a congenial atmosphere at home that calls for spirit of adjustments, compromises, sacrifices for the sake of other. This habit percolates to the children, spreads to the neighborhood, to the community, and to the society at large. This important trait provides the right frame of mind to study issues, analyze them and take decisions that benefits the mankind. It could be for his own growth, the growth of the employer, the growth of the society, and the growth of the country as well.
The third stage of life VANAPRASTHA is a retreat from the householder's duties, and entrusting the responsibility of the home to the children. The husband and the wife, not only enjoy the retired life but also prepare themselves for a spiritual life in the form of meditation, worship of the god, and offer wisdom to the community around them.
The final stage, called SANNYĀSA is the concluding part of the life, where worldly desires are renounced, gets free from attachments, and totally devoted to the service of god and humanity.
The pursuit of life during the last two stages, appears to get shortened due to the stresses and strains taken by mind and body in a living atmosphere vitiated by negative values that are propogated by the leaders through their own greed and jealousy. It is a sad feature of the present day society that few disgruntled individuals calling themselves religious fundamentalists spread canards causing irreparable damage to the mankind.
Just as a life cycle is clearly demarcated, an individual, and more so leaders should confine and act themselves within their own assigned roles, and NOT transgress into other domains.